china's new adoption rules
0 Comments Published by ginny on Wednesday, December 20, 2006 at 1:36 PM.
Oh, god, this makes me sad. As many people who are close to me know, my plan, if I reach a suitably stable career point without having acquired children some other way (and this seems likely) is to attempt to adopt a child. I am not against having a biological child, but if I'm single (or in a same-sex relationship), which is entirely possible, it makes infinitely more sense to me that I should adopt a child who already needs a parent, rather than having one biologically. In fact, it makes a lot of sense to me that I might want to do that even if I were in a mixed-sex relationship.
Unfortunately for me, and for the thousands of real (as opposed to hypothetical) single or same-sex or older or, apparently, fat potential parents out there, the number of children available to people who aren't thin, heterosexual white married people in their twenties and thirties is rapidly dwindling. Only a very, very few countries allow adoption by single parents, and none allow adoption by same-sex couples. The United States is emphatically part of this trend -- up until recently, the United States wouldn't even allow cross-racial adoption, on similar grounds to that still claimed for the denial of same-sex adoption: the relationship wouldn't be as stable; the child would be confused; the child would be subject to predjudice from peers and adults.
Although both single and same-sex parents do sometimes manage to adopt children (and parent them just as well or as poorly as mixed-sex married couples), it is very, very hard for them to do so. It's way easier to just conceive a biological child.
This is wrong. I know it's wrong. You probably know it's wrong. But most of the world, apparently, does not know it is wrong. (This is the problem with morality. It is absolute, but it's also culturally and individually bound.) Most of the world would rather children suffer than be attached to parents who don't look or act like the social norm. It is, of course, vital that prospective parents be carefully screened -- there are far too many horrible people and horrible parents out there to just let anyone have a child. Unfortunately, that's how biological birth typically works. Still, screening makes sense. It's just that being a single person or a person on antidepressants or a person in a same-sex relationship or a person who is fat does not in fact necessarily make you unfit to parent a child.
I will fight it. If I get to that point, and if I am a single person, a person in a same-sex relationship, or a fat person, I will do what I can to find a way to adopt anyway. I know I would be a fine parent. But it makes me terrifically sad that I would have to fight so hard, and that others who are (potentially) like me will have to fight so hard too.
Unfortunately for me, and for the thousands of real (as opposed to hypothetical) single or same-sex or older or, apparently, fat potential parents out there, the number of children available to people who aren't thin, heterosexual white married people in their twenties and thirties is rapidly dwindling. Only a very, very few countries allow adoption by single parents, and none allow adoption by same-sex couples. The United States is emphatically part of this trend -- up until recently, the United States wouldn't even allow cross-racial adoption, on similar grounds to that still claimed for the denial of same-sex adoption: the relationship wouldn't be as stable; the child would be confused; the child would be subject to predjudice from peers and adults.
Although both single and same-sex parents do sometimes manage to adopt children (and parent them just as well or as poorly as mixed-sex married couples), it is very, very hard for them to do so. It's way easier to just conceive a biological child.
This is wrong. I know it's wrong. You probably know it's wrong. But most of the world, apparently, does not know it is wrong. (This is the problem with morality. It is absolute, but it's also culturally and individually bound.) Most of the world would rather children suffer than be attached to parents who don't look or act like the social norm. It is, of course, vital that prospective parents be carefully screened -- there are far too many horrible people and horrible parents out there to just let anyone have a child. Unfortunately, that's how biological birth typically works. Still, screening makes sense. It's just that being a single person or a person on antidepressants or a person in a same-sex relationship or a person who is fat does not in fact necessarily make you unfit to parent a child.
I will fight it. If I get to that point, and if I am a single person, a person in a same-sex relationship, or a fat person, I will do what I can to find a way to adopt anyway. I know I would be a fine parent. But it makes me terrifically sad that I would have to fight so hard, and that others who are (potentially) like me will have to fight so hard too.
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