Why on this night of all other nights
0 Comments Published by ginny on Monday, April 2, 2007 at 2:14 PM.
Chag Sameach, everyone! I really wanted to have a Seder tonight, on the first night of Passover, but owing to NastiestWorkWeekoftheSemester, I haven't been able to prepare for one. Which is a shame, since Passover is my favorite holiday and is in fact quite meaningful to me.
As I do not observe any other orthodoxy, however, I will likely not be keeping the passover. So please do not look at me with eyes full of confusion, shock, and perhaps a bit of hurt disillusionment if you see me eat unleavened bread.
Note: it is never other Jews who look at me this way. I suspect, actually, that some non-Jews take comfort in the idea of other people's rituals as a substitute for those they feel they cannot have themselves. Non-Jews are also often shocked or unhappy that I have, in my life, eaten pork and shellfish. And, though I am nominally a vegetarian, I will still sometimes eat shellfish. Again: when have you ever seen me observe any orthodoxy? Why would you expect that I would follow this one?
I am spiritually interested in ritual, but I start at what seems like the really meaningful place for me to start: praying and going to synagogue. Dietary laws aren't a huge part of my spirituality. (This, also, may explain some of the shock -- Americans perhaps secretly like to see un-questioned food regulation. The idea of "keeping Kosher" maybe lets people be able see as a venerable and traditional thing the linkage of morality and food that we all live by but do not acknowledge.)
Meanwhile, a conversation between Jamie and me at 7:30 this morning:
Me: I woke up at 3:30 today, stared at my essay for three hours, wrote one paragraph, then went back to sleep.
Jamie: That's when you know you're crazy.
Me: Yes.
Honestly, this writing anxiety is out of hand.
Labels: spirituality, writing
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