Oh, man. I've been punished for my happiness. Here I was, going along, having a good, relatively productive day, thinking I was on top of hte world....bam! Three hundred fifty dollars in car repair. Ouch. There goes all my nice cushioned savings. I hadn't taken my car for inspection, and it turns out, now that I did, that I needed THREE tires (I haven't replaced any of them but the driver's side front since I got the car, I think) and REAR BRAKES. Suck. Suck suck suck suck suck. I have about a week and a half before a payment from UVA comes in, so I'll manage, but that nice extra I managed to save from working two jobs over the summer is totally gone. What am I going to do next summer? Work again, I guess. I'm not going back to Sal's. Maybe I can get another waitressing job. And I'm sure I can get something with the temp company again.
When does this stop? When does it ever stop -- the endless not having quite enough to make it? Not that I really have cause to complain. I grew up pretty well off, I've never known real poverty, I don't have crippling debt or health problems. But it's tiring even to be where I am. I mean, I don't live an extravagent lifestyle. The coat purchase I'm regretting cost $50. It's a good, warm coat. I haven't had bought of those in six years, and the one I bought six years ago was from a thrift store. I made do on light coats and layering for the past year after the six-year-old one finally pretty much gave up the ghost.
And it isn't as if I travel all the time, or buy lots of CDs, or see movies at the theater and dine out every weekend. It shouldn't be this tight.
But it is. I guess I'm not getting any less than I deserve, since I'm basically being paid to read books, but it's still, like I said, tiring.
Also, I'm embarrassed that my car didn't pass inspection.
On an up note, though, as I was going in to teach this afternoon, I heard the tail end of Andrew Blechman's interview on the Diane Rehm show, and it was absolutely delightful! I definitely want to read his book. I've never heard someone sound so genuinely, heartfeltly admiring and sweet about piegeons before. Also he was interesting. It made me think so much of Bert. I am Bert, really. Except that Bert wouldn't ever let his car get bad enough not to pass inspection!
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